Should I forget about dating/marrying a doctor because their schedules are so incredibly hard to work around?

I’ve been seeing this doctor who is absolutely everything I want in a man (maybe he could work on his wardrobe and domestic sense but those are things I can totally help him with). He’s tall, handsome, smart, sweet, commitment-minded, adores me and tells me how beautiful I am all the time. He’s such a genuine person I feel I can totally trust him as well. However, he’s a 2nd year resident and his schedule is BANANAS!! I see him only once/month, if that, but I’m not needy and I date others so I don’t press him for time. He claims it will get better once he completes his residency but I’m thinking not. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? Does it, in fact, get better once he starts to practice outside of his residency as a real doctor?

When I first started dating my boyfriend, he was starting his third and last year of residency. I can honestly tell you that it was hard because he didn’t have the time for me like other guys would. I didn’t know if he was serious about me or if he really was that busy. I can tell you now that the life of a resident is absolutely hectic and they really are that busy. You have to go out and occupy yourself with other things to do instead of sitting around waiting for him to call. It also helps if you know some other people who are also dating a resident and are going through the same things as you are.

It does in fact get better once he completes his residency but then again it also depends on what kind of medicine he is in and if he’s going to pursue a fellowship afterwards. I know my boyfriend’s schedule will become hectic once again when he starts his fellowship next year but we love each other and we’ll make it work. I’m sure that if you truly love him, everything will work out for the better. You just have to be patient and understanding of his schedule now because things will get better. Good luck!



  • Only you can decide that.

    If you truly love him you can work with that.

    If you think it’s not worth it, then it’s not worth it.References :

  • Yes his schedule will get some better, but he will never be a 9-5 guy. If you can not live like that, or will need more from him, with out being with other people, then you should not let it get serious between the two of you. IF you fall in love with him, you will find a way to make that work for you both. If not, then you can cut ties before it gets serious.References :

  • It will get better as he practices outside his residency, and his schedule becomes more regular. If you two are truly committed to each other, then you should be able to work something out. If he’s really the man for you, and you truly think he’s the right guy for you, then go for it! You should be able to work things out with him. What you need to do though, is sit down with him, and really talk to him about how you’re feeling, and what you two can do about it. Good luck, and don’t loose hope, or give up on him, he sounds like a wonderful guy!References :

  • When I first started dating my boyfriend, he was starting his third and last year of residency. I can honestly tell you that it was hard because he didn’t have the time for me like other guys would. I didn’t know if he was serious about me or if he really was that busy. I can tell you now that the life of a resident is absolutely hectic and they really are that busy. You have to go out and occupy yourself with other things to do instead of sitting around waiting for him to call. It also helps if you know some other people who are also dating a resident and are going through the same things as you are.

    It does in fact get better once he completes his residency but then again it also depends on what kind of medicine he is in and if he’s going to pursue a fellowship afterwards. I know my boyfriend’s schedule will become hectic once again when he starts his fellowship next year but we love each other and we’ll make it work. I’m sure that if you truly love him, everything will work out for the better. You just have to be patient and understanding of his schedule now because things will get better. Good luck!References : Me- I’ve been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for the past two years.


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